Happy Birthday Matt!!!

My nephew Matt turns 25 tomorrow!

Things Kinda Suck

Yes I'm frustrated. Mostly with myself I think. I just can't seem to stay motivated. Everytime I turn around there is another problem. I put things off that I shouldn't just because I feel so tired all the time... I almost never feel 100% anymore...nothing seems to go right for very long and that just makes me feel more depressed...anxious. I just can't seem to get off my ass anymore..or I don't want too.

It's Homer's Birthday!

It's Homer's 15th birthday today...Happy Birthday Homer!!!!

We got the painting finished after work last night...Homer and I worked 'till ten o'clock...it looks great and I couldn't havepulled it off this fast without the kid's help...thanks Homer!
We got alot of stuff moved over last night and we plan on one load before work this morning and a bunch of trips tonight.
It's still overwhelming, but with the painting out of the way I feel alot more into it.
I thought I'd post a few pictures of the new place today. As you can see it's a pretty big place...three bedrooms and two baths, a heated two car garage, and a large inclosed patio. There is also a wood burning stove in the living room (which the kid spent an hour cleaning out last night)!. There is also a large RV garage which we will also be renting come January...I'm gonna use that as a shop and a guy's hang out (or at least that's my plan!). There is a fenced in side yard with a shed and a nice tree lined back yard as well. More than aenough space for hanging outside in the summer. Now all we have to do is get moved in and decide how to arrange everything...each one of us has different ideas so it will be interesting to say the least! This place is more of an open concept to it which we are not used to dealing with.

So yes I'm excited...at least now we have "our pl;ace" rathe than "her place". It's gonna make a big difference in our relationship at least from my point of view.

Almost Too Much To Handle

Life has gotten very hectic...almost too much to handle. We've got the move, work, other things that need to get done...wow!
I spent almost twelve hours at the new house painting yesterday and I'm still not done! I've got the kitchen cieling to do then I'm done. Next is moving everything over there...that should be interesting. I'm so glad we did decide to paint before we moved in... the place looks so much better,very clean.
I'm dreading going to work today...lot's going on there too. Sometimes it gets hard to keep track of everything. I just want to go back to bed!

Painting

Homer and I started the painting after work last night...we had a ball!

One More Time!

They say life is short, but sometimes doesn't it seem to drag on forever? Now I'm not complaining or anything, but man I think back on everything I've done and experienced and I say "wow! That's a lot of shit youre packing around in the old memory banks there Cliff!"
I think of all the places I've been, people I've met...it's almost astounding! There was growing up, school, jobs,fun, vacations. There were all the problems I thought I'd never solve and then there were good things I thought would never end...(they did of course). Then there were the big things... Marriages, births, deaths...geez so much!
It just seems to keep going on and on and on...I love the life I've lived for the most part, and I hope there is alot more to come, but I'll admit I'm getting a little tired. Things don't come as easy as they once did...the wisdom is there now but the strength to handle the stress has waned a bit. But still I get up everyday and say"Bring it on,,,one more time!"

Time to Hit The Trail

The move has begun! We signed the rental agreement last night so we're good to go... now the fun begins! We are all pretty excited about it though.

Is It Morning Already???

Man I hate winter! All I want to do is sleep, sleep, sleep! It's been cold, snowy, and dark...very depressing. I just want to hide under the covers.
I did manage to take half a day off yesterday, but all I did was run around and pack stuff for the big move. I did manage to do some remodeling here on this page. I added a vid-strip and a video viewer.That was kinda fun. Also got the giggles watching Becky make her cat poop cake.
We're supposed to get the keys to the new place tonight,then it's showtime! Hope we don't have any major disasters!
I'm sure everything will be fine once we actually start moving stuff out of here. Becky is going nuts with the clutter. It is very hard to do this when we both work full time and never have the same days off together, but I'm sure we'll manage.

Kitty Litter Cake

Becky made her famus kitty-litter cake for a co-workers birthday...EEEEWWWW!

The New Guy

I don't know how many of you are familiar with The Rolling Stones, but I want to relate a topic... Ronnie Wood joined The Stones more than thiry years ago and they still refer to him as the new guy...mostly 'cause he wasn't an original member. I wonder if that ever bothers him.
I'm going through something similar. Becky lost her partner three years ago...'bout the same time I lost Kathy. I arrived on the scene about a year ago. Things have been rocky here and there(mostly rocky) but we've commited ourselves to renting a bigger place...something together. Things are going well on a day to day basis, but with this move I really feel like an outsider eventhough I have just as much at stake in this as she does.
His name comes up more and more often. Almost as if he is moving with us. It's very hard to put into words but I really kinda feel like a cheap substitute. Kind of like a nessessery component. I feel like I have to act a certian way in order to keep the show going. Maybe I'm being paranoid...but I don't think so. I'd kind of like to be appreciated for what I bring to the table once and awhile.
God how things have changed! I used to be so much more confident, so much stronger. I guess I still am, but it's very hard to walk in someone's shadow. I'd really like to be noticed for who I am and the special talents I posess. A simple "that's cool" would really raise my spirits right about now. But I guess that's not her style.
I really wish she would cut me a break though,I've been trying to do the best I can under some of the most unusual (at least I think so )constraints.

I saw this and suddenly became homesick for Milwaukee!

I've had days like this!

Interesting Concept!

I was supposed to be off today and tomorrow but have to go in because someone from the main office is coming down to look over the property and I need to be there...don't know when my next day off will be...plus I feel like crap. There is something goin round at work and it looks like I got it.

We are not making very good progress on the move...I'm just not home enough and when I am I'm pretty whiped out. Becky got alot done on Saturday though. We get the keys on Thurs. so I think that will be our motivation. I'll have to get in there after work every night to paint and get things organized. I'm taking vaation days during thanksgiving week so the bulk of the move will happen then. I'm starting to get excited just wish I felt better.

The Shape Of Things To Come?

I'm not feeling very good this morning. I can't say that I'm really sick I just feel kinda wierd. There is so much on my mind I guess. The job, moving, bills, all that kinda stuff... I also worry about what lies ahead for me. I never used to worry about my future that much, but being out here pretty much alone has triggered some panic on that subject from time to time. I guess I don't feel as secure as I used to....I don't know. The relationship I'm in right now doesn't help much. It's always up and down, never steady for any length of time and that gets me worried too. We're doing ok I guess, but just not the way I'm used to having things go...it's hard to explain. We went out for a couple of beers last night and that was nice...I guess I'm over thinking things this morning.

“And then, like one who unchooses his own choiceAnd thinking again undoes what he has started,So I became: a nullifying unease.” – Dante’s Inferno

The winter blahs have set in. The weather has been damp, windy,and cold. It gets darks so early now that you feel like going to bed at seven p.m.(at least I do!). Then you don't feel like getting up at all because it's so cold and gloomy. THEN you have to think about sending nine hours at aplace where everyone has gone a little goofy lately! I know....bitch,bitch, bitch!....sorry

Well so much for having Sundays off! The boss called me in yesterday morning and said it wasn't working. (?) He said he felt more comfortable when I'm there on busy days. Whatever! I must've given him a dissapointed look and he got upset. Then he kept following me around all day...making sure I wasn't mad(which I was). Oh yeah...he got upset with me when I said "tell me when YOU want me to take off and that's when I'll take off."

So now it looks like I'll have Mondays and Tuesdays off. Whatever!

Needless to say I'm dissapointed with my job...it just isn't the same...my department is doing fine but we still get alot of pressure put on us...it's become harder to keep the morale up...especially my own.

OK...so I'm over it! I've decided to try and keep a log of the events leading up to our big move. So far I took in most of the cans fromthe garage....that's a step in the right direction. This morning I'm loading up some stuff for Good Will and dropping it off on the way to work. Tonight I have the cable company coming over....we are having alittle trouble getting in some stations, but after that I plan on taking in a few more cans and putting out the garbage and a bunch of junk we need to throw out.

Having a little trouble getting motivated this morning. It's going to be hectic at work today plus I've got some other things I need to get taken care of dealing with our move. I didn't sleep to well either...I guess I don't deal with stress aswell as I used too...I kept waking up alot...worrying about this and that.

Looks like winter is here...it was cold last night when I was out running errands, plus it gets so dark here! More reasons why I'm sluggish this morning.
God I had the wierdest dream last night! I was driving and suddenly I was going up a very steep and windy road, and the higher I went the more narrow it became. Then I found myself at a dead end in front of a house with no way to turn around. I was then out of my car holding a strp attached to it and it started to rool and edge toward the edge of the drop-off...I held on as long as I could, but eventually I let go and the car rolled off the cliff and landed with an unusual soft "thump".
Very wierd!

This says it all!

Another day off! This is pretty cool! Had a good Monday at work because I wasn't exhausted from working on Sunday. Had a fun time handing out candy to the trick-or -treaters last night but we were both pretty tired from the time change...eight o'clock felt like nine to me so I went to bed. Homer was all sugared up from candy....he was a real jabber-jaw. He started his first after school job yesterday working in Becky's office doing filing...I guess it went OK.

Today I have alot of chasing around to do; mostly stuff to do with moving (we get the keys to the new place on the 10th). We are trying not to look ahead to much, the amount of work is pretty overwhelming if you think too much so I'm just trying to do something everyday and not look out too far.

What's New: I just added two links. One is a beer site and the other is a cool anti-liberal page. Check 'em out!
http://www.cafepress.com/rightwingstuff
http://beeradvocate.com/