Stagnation

I am stagnating!
I woke up this morning and realized it. I want to go forward but for some reason I cant. I put things off till the last minute, I don't dream of the future...I only react to the day to day issues...sometimes I dont even do that. I need a good kick in the ass like Kathy used to give me.

Where I'm at isn't helping much. I don't mean the location as much as the relationship that I'm in. I'm not strong enough to endure irratic behavior. I'm no longer tough enough to just walk out the door either.

Every night before I sleep I try to tell myself that this is time for action...the time to just get going again...but by first light I'm just blah(for lack of a better word).

I guess it doesn't help to be somewhere where the winters last forever! It's always grey here...nothing like the Midwest. It's just been such a long uneventful winter. Boring and you all know how easily I get bored!

No Title

Wow it's been a week since I last posted! This is horrible!!!
I can't get much computer time at home 'cause it's Homer's computer, and I am in the process of moving my office and just today could I finally get some privacy at work. But guess what? now that I'm on I don't have any inspiration!!!
Go figure!
Anyway to my friends who stop by, be patient with me..."I'll be back"

This Kinda Sucks

Posting from work kinda sucks but I don't want to loose the habbit of posting as often as I can...I guess I'm addicted!
Nothing special has been going on other than the fact that its snowing like hell this morning.

Just Wondering

Hmmmm.......
Another day in paradise!
Yeah right, whatever!
What a life!
Don't know what to write so I'll just babble for a sec.
So much I want to do today but I have no energy.
Just want to veg out.
Had one too many beers last night...just sat by the fireplace and stared.
Paying for it this morning.
Question:
Have you ever been with someone but still felt alone?
This is a new feeling for me and I was just wondering if anyone else has ever felt that way.

My Friday!

It’s Sunday…my Friday!
It’s shaping up to be a long busy day, but no worries.
Another good workout after work last night…starting to feel stronger every day.
Home life is so-so,but what else is new!
Missing my computer at home, but then again not too much. Mostly I miss reading other blogs and my e-mail friends.
Here's a shout out to Mr. Matt, Suzann, Bill, Anne, Pat, Sandy, Sue, and all the other folks who swing by from time to time!

Damn!

Damn, I had so many thoughts I wanted to post when I got up this morning, but after the ride to work and my initial chores around here I kinda lost them.

I’ve been in a good mood the last few days and I attribute that partly to eating and sleeping better and exercising. Plus music is back in my life to a degree. I wasn’t even turning on the car radio the last month or so! That’s how down I was. Spring is coming and I feel energized again.

Just an Update

Things are pretty ok.
I’ve gotten back to my workout routine here at the resort. I spend about an hour and a half after work every night. Hell I’ve got full free use of three state of the art gyms and pools I may as well start using them again. I already feel a lot better about things. I guess if I’m not happy or appreciated at home I should spend more time away getting involved in things I like to do. I also feel more energetic.

I also started listening to my music again…funny how it can lift your spirits. I does make me think of Kathy more though. I wonder what shed say if she were here to see what’s been going on? LOL…let’s not even go there! I already know I’m gonna be in deep shit when I see her on the other side!

Hanging In There

Well my computer at home is dead but I'm ok!
I'll just have to post from work for a while.
I'm gonna hold off on buying a new system. I'm having the kids fixed so he doesn't have a stroke and move it into his room. I will then have more privacy in mine!
The only real problem with posting from work is that I find it hard to reach deep into my thoughts and feelings when I'm in my office with the phone ringing, cell phone ringing, and the two way radio going off.
I found out this morning that I may have an exciting oppertunity offered me regarding work...it involves traveling some and giving some sort of motivational training to other resorts...its not a done deal or anything but I was asked if I was interested and I said yes.
So we shall see...
Maybe the adventure isnt over...
It may well be just starting!
I'm also scheduled to be in Seattle for a week in June for a department head seminar. Maybe things will get exciting career-wise if not relationship wise.
Hmmmmm....maybe there are other reasons I'm here!