The New Guy

I don't know how many of you are familiar with The Rolling Stones, but I want to relate a topic... Ronnie Wood joined The Stones more than thiry years ago and they still refer to him as the new guy...mostly 'cause he wasn't an original member. I wonder if that ever bothers him.
I'm going through something similar. Becky lost her partner three years ago...'bout the same time I lost Kathy. I arrived on the scene about a year ago. Things have been rocky here and there(mostly rocky) but we've commited ourselves to renting a bigger place...something together. Things are going well on a day to day basis, but with this move I really feel like an outsider eventhough I have just as much at stake in this as she does.
His name comes up more and more often. Almost as if he is moving with us. It's very hard to put into words but I really kinda feel like a cheap substitute. Kind of like a nessessery component. I feel like I have to act a certian way in order to keep the show going. Maybe I'm being paranoid...but I don't think so. I'd kind of like to be appreciated for what I bring to the table once and awhile.
God how things have changed! I used to be so much more confident, so much stronger. I guess I still am, but it's very hard to walk in someone's shadow. I'd really like to be noticed for who I am and the special talents I posess. A simple "that's cool" would really raise my spirits right about now. But I guess that's not her style.
I really wish she would cut me a break though,I've been trying to do the best I can under some of the most unusual (at least I think so )constraints.