What To Do?

Days just seem to run together. There sometimes seems to be no reason for things...just keep going.
I've realized that I don't seem to have a purpose anymore. No goals, no dreams. I'm suddenly just following everyone else..moving but going nowhere. Seems like the last goal I had was to move out here. Then I stopped! I'm wondering this morning what the hell happened. It's not at all like the old me to just go through the motions. I used to always have some scheme up my sleeve, something to look forward to...something to do. Now I just kind of drift along with no ambition. No real lust for life anymore.
Oh sure, I still have my moments, like when I went snowboarding...but shit that was a year ago! I think my living situation changed me. I really don't have the partner in crime that I thought I'd have. She lives her life in a routine of work,Tv, reading and crossword puzzels...yuck! Not for me! So I just kinda sit and watch things go by. At first I rebelled tried to find things to do, but it really isn't fun doing things alone. At least I don't think so. I've always needed someone to push me on a bit. Kathy and I were always up to something goofy. Man that seems like a million years ago. Then after she was gone there was my sister who always had the time to get involved with my projects, go to ball games, shopping and stuff.
Leave it to me to drive 2000 miles to get trapped in limbo. There doesn't seem to be anyway out. Sometimes I don't know if I want a way out. Something really did break inside of me I think.
I'm doing really well at my job. I was nominated for department head of the year for the entire northern region the other day. I'm told I'm doing great,but you know what? I'm barely trying. Just drifting...doing what I need to do...not like me at all!
What to do ....what to do?

God I miss this guy!