A Christmas Message
Every year I post a Christmas message to my Grief and Loss group. After writing it this year I thought I would post it here in case anyone who drops by may be in need of some comfort in dealing with a loss. If you do need help or just some people to talk with who are experiencing what you are, I am linked to them from this blog.
I just wanted to stop by and wish all of my dear friends a very Merry Christmas, and let you know that I think of you often. Even though I’ve moved on with my life I have never forgotten the help and comfort I’ve found in this place. I have so many memories both happy and sad connected to the people I’ve met here and the conversations I’ve had with them. The glow of their typed words on my computer screen late at night was often the only beacon toward the land of the living. That place I thought I’d never see again.
For those of you who don’t know me my name is Cliffhanger Jones. I have been a member here since 2002. I lost my wife to lung cancer that September. This place was my salvation in a way. It gave me somewhere to when things got too bad rather than sit in a bar and drink myself to death. This place gave me hope…made me feel not so alone. This place made me happy and it made me sad too. This place also made me angry. Angry at death and how it affects us all. But this place also helped me turn that anger into understanding and acceptance. This place gave me friends. Friends that I still talk to now and then. We still laugh and cry together, but mostly now we laugh. This place gave me a special friend with whom I’ve been living with for more than a year now. This place brought me back to the land of the living.
I also want to say something to the new members: Right now you’re lost, and you may be lost for some time. You are going to head down paths that may not be the right ones. You’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to become frustrated and angry. You’re going to lash out in anger at the ones you care for the most, including the one you lost and yourself. Don’t panic…its ok. If you have this place, and use it as a tool for repairing your sanity, your sanity will return.
I would also like to pass on something I’ve learned. It’s just a thought I came up with (or stole) a couple of years ago. This thought has helped me through the worst of times: You have lost someone very dear to you, someone who cared and loved you. That person may have been the love of your life, your reason for living. That loss is a terrible, terrible thing, and that loss has almost killed you. Try to remember this: You are actually one of the lucky ones; you at least can say “I had that love, I had that happiness. I have had the comfort of knowing someone else in this world truly loved and cared for me.” Just think my friends of all the people who will walk this earth their entire lives and have not had what you had found. Think of all the people whose anguish is not the loss of happiness, but the fact that they may never find it.
I hope all of you have a very peaceful and safe Christmas.
Love Always,
Cliff
I just wanted to stop by and wish all of my dear friends a very Merry Christmas, and let you know that I think of you often. Even though I’ve moved on with my life I have never forgotten the help and comfort I’ve found in this place. I have so many memories both happy and sad connected to the people I’ve met here and the conversations I’ve had with them. The glow of their typed words on my computer screen late at night was often the only beacon toward the land of the living. That place I thought I’d never see again.
For those of you who don’t know me my name is Cliffhanger Jones. I have been a member here since 2002. I lost my wife to lung cancer that September. This place was my salvation in a way. It gave me somewhere to when things got too bad rather than sit in a bar and drink myself to death. This place gave me hope…made me feel not so alone. This place made me happy and it made me sad too. This place also made me angry. Angry at death and how it affects us all. But this place also helped me turn that anger into understanding and acceptance. This place gave me friends. Friends that I still talk to now and then. We still laugh and cry together, but mostly now we laugh. This place gave me a special friend with whom I’ve been living with for more than a year now. This place brought me back to the land of the living.
I also want to say something to the new members: Right now you’re lost, and you may be lost for some time. You are going to head down paths that may not be the right ones. You’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to become frustrated and angry. You’re going to lash out in anger at the ones you care for the most, including the one you lost and yourself. Don’t panic…its ok. If you have this place, and use it as a tool for repairing your sanity, your sanity will return.
I would also like to pass on something I’ve learned. It’s just a thought I came up with (or stole) a couple of years ago. This thought has helped me through the worst of times: You have lost someone very dear to you, someone who cared and loved you. That person may have been the love of your life, your reason for living. That loss is a terrible, terrible thing, and that loss has almost killed you. Try to remember this: You are actually one of the lucky ones; you at least can say “I had that love, I had that happiness. I have had the comfort of knowing someone else in this world truly loved and cared for me.” Just think my friends of all the people who will walk this earth their entire lives and have not had what you had found. Think of all the people whose anguish is not the loss of happiness, but the fact that they may never find it.
I hope all of you have a very peaceful and safe Christmas.
Love Always,
Cliff
posted by Cliffhanger Jones at 6:16 AM
1 Comments:
Very well written Cliff. What's a merry time of year for many can be so tough for others whose loss is magnified all the more by the merriness and cheer.
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