Wind Me Up

I’ve been tired a lot lately. I get home from work at night and I’m just spent. I have been crashing out as early as eight lately. I don’t feel sick or anything just stressed and mentally tired. It’s winter here too and it gets dark before I even get home so I suppose that has something to do with it. I do get up early though as you can see by the post times on this page. It’s just kind of boring around here at night too.

This life is such a far cry from my old one. There’s just not enough happening in this area at night to keep me motivated. Plus I never know what kind of mood my partner is in so I usually camp out in my room and fall asleep. I can’t have my TV on too loud and I definitely cant listen to music very well because she claims to have this superior hearing and yells if it goes up over three!....So I don’t bother trying very often.

I wonder if being tired is a form of depression? Could be I guess…don’t know. Before I came here I was almost never depressed except for right after Kathy died, but other than that rarely did I feel really down. During the last two years I’ve kinda slipped into a coma in regards to a lot of things. I just go to work and see what the day brings then come home and crash…kinda like a wind up toy I guess.

In the morning I’m wound up tight (right now). I feel energetic and creative, even optimistic! I know you can’t always gather that from my writing but for the most part I am. I go along like that all day ‘till about two or three then I start to get a little tired.

I leave work about four-thirty and it’ almost a forty minute drive….that’s when I get tired. It's a crazy drive sometimes especially in the winter. I go across the high desert and through a high pass and they don't always plow right away if it snows so I'm on edge alot. Also you are constantly on the look out for deer. I haven't hit one yet but have had alot of near misses.

Once I get home it’s pretty routine like I explained before then I crash and start the whole thing over.

Pretty boring.